the dastardly deed of t.p.ing

my house was toilet-papered last night. i was greeted by my brother this morning with, "your friends left you a 'gift' on the front lawn." now, i dont know what makes him think it was my friends; it could just as easily have been his. i was then ordered down stairs, handed a trash bag, and put to work. as i opened the front door, i was nearly blinded with the pure white toilet paper reflecting the morning sun. my lawn, driveway, and porch...all completely covered in a soggy, white mess. after a good half-hour of labor, the driveway is now decent looking, but the whole thing is still pretty much a disaster. i suppose "t.p.ing" (as many call it) doesn't happen much in coto, where i live. it was entertaining to see peoples facial expressions as they drove by our littered house. an annoying litte girl emereged from her house across the street to witness the scene and attempt to start some small talk...saying something about snow, and her older sister. (i wasnt paying attention. after all, i was hard at work and focusing on the job...plus, like i said before, she's annoying.) while picking up the toilet paper my brother and i had some laughs while contemplating the different possibilites of who the purpetrators could be. i didn't only have some bonding time with my brother, but with nature as well. i was almost stung by some bees, and caught a praying mantis (which was pretty freaking cool). i also came across some toilet paper that had been urinated on. and frankly, that's just gross; after that, i was done...though there is still a good amount of time and energy that needs to be put into my vandalized lawn, shrubs, and trees. so to whoever did this dastardly deed, be sure that i will hunt you down and return the favor. though i do i commend you on your "t.p.ing"...it was a job well done. (other than the multiple rolls you left un-used. if you're gonna toilet paper someone, you might as well go all-out).